I never thought I would spend my last hours in State College, Pennsylvania, home of Penn State University. I never even knew State College existed when I was a kid. And now, it would appear, it will be the last thing I see when God calls me home on Rapture Day.
And why wouldn't he? I have done nothing wrong, not in the eyes of the law anyway. Sure there have been some missteps along the way, a couple of stupid knee-jerk decisions, a bunch of tiny sins that don't amount to a hill of beans. My life as it has progressed hasn't been saintly, but it hasn't been satanly either. Why not me?
I wonder if I should be doing more to state my case. You know, market myself during these waning hours before the souls start drifting up to heaven. Make a pitch for myself, write a jingle, pray like a cloistered nun, or something. Not that I want to leave right not...I have a lot of unfinished business here. But according to the prophecy, what will be left here won't be so much fun. And I can't even handle this cold spring, much less global pestilence, famine and natural disasters. Plus, I have always wanted to float up into the sky, like a character in a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel. An ethereal, transparent being fueled by light and superstition.
But like everyone else, I will have to wait to see if I get called up. It will be easy to tell--just check this blog on Monday. I'll post an entry no matter where I am---I do, after all, have a smart phone.
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